connuh:

i need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour

blakeisatwat:

the bags under my eyes are prada

laughingstation:

getting google translate to say bad words because you’re HARDCORE

goddamnitobama:

So last night my mum wouldn’t let me have any sweets because she said they were all for the trick or treaters so i put this mask on and went out the back door and went around to the front and said trick or treat and she didn’t recognize me and she said “since i don’t think we’ll be getting any more tonight you can the rest of this bag my daughter will have them otherwise” and then i went back in

i love myself